I finished reading "Norwegian Wood" in my sophomore year. I had heard of the book's reputation for a long time, but I never got around to reading it until I read it on the high-speed train back home. I still remember clearly that after finishing it, I felt a kind of inexplicable melancholy and depression. This book is also the second work by a Japanese writer that has deeply affected me, the first being Mr. Osamu Dazai's "No Longer Human" that I read in high school. However, the impact of "Norwegian Wood" on me was even more profound, to the point that I often joke that "Japan is my second hometown" in terms of literature. So I took it out again to read and write down some things to remember.
In fact, the story told in the whole book is ostensibly about the pain of youth, but it deeply conveys the redemption of the self. Haruki Murakami uses a slightly dull but not so sad writing style to tell us a story about the growth of adolescence. Youth is inherently ignorant. There is confusion, impulsiveness, self-doubt, loneliness, enthusiasm, and frustration. We want to grow up, but we hesitate on the road. We struggle with choices, we are indecisive, we worry about gains and losses. We have our own principles, but we often can't resist the temptations of the outside world. The essence of pain is the inability to let go, it is a punishment we inflict on ourselves.
I remember there was a passage in the book, "We are born and raised with death, but this is only a small part of the wisdom we must understand. But Naoko's death made me understand that no matter how familiar we are with wisdom, it cannot eliminate the grief caused by the death of a loved one. No matter what wisdom, what sincerity, what perseverance, what tenderness, it cannot dispel this grief. The only thing we can do is to break free from this grief and gain some wisdom from it. But any wisdom gained, in the face of subsequent accidents, is so weak and powerless - I listen to the sound of the dark night and the wind, day after day, in such a deep and desperate search. I am disheveled, carrying a backpack, walking along the coast in early autumn, constantly heading west, heading west..." When I first read this passage, it exploded in my heart like a thunder on a flat ground. Every word and every sentence in this passage was like a surge of hot blood rushing from the top of my head to the soles of my feet, causing every pore on my body to open, my heart to beat faster. I read it over and over again, still deeply shocked by the grief revealed in this passage. It strongly shook my body and mind. I believe that only those who have seriously contemplated life and death can understand the grief revealed in this passage. It is the result of experiencing the grief brought by death and pondering it in loneliness.
After Naoko's death, Watanabe began to understand that love and sex are actually completely unified in his relationship with Midori. He loved Naoko, but he also loved Midori. In fact, Naoko's existence was only a static part of Watanabe. She stayed deep inside Watanabe, like death, like the already dead Reiko. They were all just the places where Watanabe had remained unchanged for a long time, just like Watanabe's state of life, calm, stable, and silent, because this was the shadow brought by death, and also the sequelae of Naoko's illness. He wanted to maintain this stillness to cherish the beautiful past, but in the process of his gradual growth, he was different from Reiko. He did not evade his responsibilities, but faced them bravely. After visiting Naoko and returning, he began to take responsibility for Naoko's future. He became strong and brave, and he started to take on responsibilities. In this process, he began to change. But in this process, Midori, as a living girl, lived lively by his side. He also began to want to grow up, so the balance of love slowly shifted to Midori. This is a love story, and we can clearly see the attitude of men towards love and sex.
Naoko and Midori are two different parts of Watanabe. One is static and the other is dynamic, one is silent and the other is lively. As Reiko said, "In the beautiful weather, sailing on the beautiful lake, we feel the charm of the blue sky and the beauty of the lake at the same time - they are the same principle."
At the same time, Watanabe's words deeply fascinated me:
"I like you the most, Midori."
"To what extent?"
"Like a bear in spring."
"..."
"In the spring field, you are walking alone, and a cute little bear comes towards you. Its fur is as soft as velvet, and its eyes are round and bulging. It says to you, 'Hello, miss, would you like to roll and play with me?' Then, you hug the little bear and roll down the hill covered with clover, playing all day long. How wonderful is that?"
"It's amazing."
"That's how much I like you."
"It's out of this world."
"Do you like my hairstyle?"
"It's amazing."
"How amazing?"
"All the trees in the forests of the world would fall to the ground like butter."
"How much do you like me?"
"All the tigers in the forests of the world would melt into butter."
Next, the most worth exploring in the book is Watanabe's emotional line. I agree with a sentence: "Liking is a light love, and love is a deep like." When you like someone, you even find their flaws somewhat cute because there is a faint love in your heart, and you won't take it seriously. So Watanabe likes Naoko and promises that one day he will fully understand her. Watanabe's liking for Naoko is mixed with many elements. At first, it was pity:
"I felt sorry for Naoko. What she desired was not my arm, but someone else's arm. What she desired was not my body temperature, but someone else's body temperature. And I can only be myself, so I always feel a little guilty."
Later, it was sympathy and mutual redemption and consolation, a religious-like liking:
"After Kizuki died, I lost someone I could honestly talk to about my feelings, and I think you did too. I think, maybe the feelings we pursued have surpassed what we imagined. It is precisely because of this that we have taken many detours, or in a sense, we have gone astray. I have also thought that maybe I shouldn't have done that, but there was no other way. At that time, I felt an intimate and warm feeling towards you, which was an emotion I had never felt before."
Then it became vague, like purely liking this person:
"I hope you can remember me, remember that I have lived like this, that I have stayed by your side like this. Maybe always remember?"
"I will never forget, how can I forget you?"
Later, Watanabe himself also expressed that his love for Naoko became blurred due to the complex situation and the long-term relationship.
Love is a deep like. Even though you see the other person's flaws and have a normal aversion, this liking is clearly accumulated bit by bit, with a deep imprint in your bones, and it will not be shaken by small aversions. So Watanabe loves Midori, and this love is manifested as liking that is mentioned many times. Look, Midori may be talkative and sometimes rough like a woodcutter. But Watanabe deeply likes her. However, Watanabe has experienced the vicissitudes of life and is relatively simple-minded, not very perceptive. If it weren't for Midori's decisive confession, I don't think he would have clearly seen his own heart. Moreover, Midori often ends her sentences with questions, giving the other person space to answer. Between questions and answers, their communication and understanding gradually deepen.
Although Midori sometimes uses vulgar language, it may be because of her extra-clear and genuine nature. Modern people's view of "sex" has been greatly discounted due to excessive exposure to dirty and rape in the news, so the "sex" in Midori's mouth and even in Murakami's book has been tainted with colored glasses.
Murakami once said in an interview: "I think sex is a... spiritual commitment. Good sex can heal your wounds, activate your imagination, and it is a path to a higher and better place. In this sense, the women in my stories are a medium - a messenger of a new world. That's why they always appear actively by the protagonist's side, rather than the protagonist approaching them."
Sincere and lovely, silly and warm, it is simply to hold a beating heart to the other person. This is our Midori Kobayashi. In the communication between Watanabe and Midori, Midori uses comprehensive and meticulous expressions and strong emotions, fearing to miss any details. As for Watanabe, he can be considered a good listener with strong patience. Midori's liveliness and agility just balance Watanabe's dullness and chaos when he empties himself. They naturally attract each other.
Finally, I want to talk about the sense of loneliness conveyed in the book. I don't think I am a truly lonely person, but later I met lonely people and suddenly realized that they are the real me: the vulnerability revealed unintentionally, the self-entertainment immersed in loneliness, being attracted to those who are different, rejecting the trivial and noisy, worrying about being misunderstood, unwilling to trouble others... Loneliness becomes clear, and I begin to perceive its existence clearly.
In fact, the instinct of human beings is to actively communicate with others. And a constantly growing personality will suppress and resist its own instincts, and will prefer to communicate with and be understood by others. Gradually, the attribute of loneliness is exposed. Loneliness is precious. It allows you to have yourself, avoid trivial matters, think clearly, and gain healing. But I believe that those who can share loneliness with you are extremely precious.
In life, I thought that walking alone would be faster, and walking with others would be slower. But in the end, I found that walking alone is faster, and walking with others is farther.
In terms of emotions, when you clearly like someone, but suppress your emotions with reason, or constantly speculate and test; when you clearly have no feelings for someone, but accept their emotions with reason, and then interact with them with a barrier. This is not loneliness, this is pessimism and numb loneliness.
Always remember:
"It's okay to be alone, as long as you can love someone from the bottom of your heart, life will be saved, even if you can't live with them."
The above is all that "Norwegian Wood" has brought to me. Thank you for this book, which has made me understand what true love is, how to correctly treat the relationship between love and sex, and how to view life and death. "A person's life is destined to be full of sadness and pain, and if you try to find redemption from others, you will ultimately fail, definitely fail." We don't need to search for it in others, life itself is bearable and even enjoyable. And then, when it comes to loving someone, without the expectation of redemption, without any lack, all that remains is love, nothing else.
Only self-redemption.