Hiding in the room, looking at the summer from a distance, the bright sunlight connects the high contrast of red houses and green trees with the wonderful taste of just-drunk iced lattes, forming an indescribable summer mood.
"How terrible life without summer vacation would be," I, still a child, always worry about this. Looking at the green trees filling the gaps between buildings outside the window, I realize that I can no longer imagine what summer vacation feels like.
When we were young, we longed to grow up, and when we grew up, we missed our youth. In the constant anticipation and disappointment, we slowly walk through this life. The long daylight occasionally makes people lose focus when staring out the window. The thoughts and ideas at this moment will only become clear after the end of summer, in the moment when we eat watermelon.
There is no need to feel lost for things that didn't happen or things that cannot be returned to. Dreams on midsummer nights always come late. Summer is intense, real, something to look forward to, and something to reminisce about. In fact, we have already gone through many summer vacations, but only when the memories of the present and the past differ greatly, can you clearly grasp the passage of time.
What does summer vacation look like in my memory? It's the old popsicles and puddings sold in the small grocery store on the old street; it's the mung bean soup made by my mother; it's the endless watching of "Journey to the West" and "My Fair Princess"; it's the basketball jersey soaked with sweat and the rosy cheeks; it's the red marks on the face from the cool mat after waking up from a nap; it's the evasive behavior in front of the girl I liked in school. As an adult, I rarely reminisce about my carefree childhood, but when asked about my most profound impressions, I still think of these happy memories from my youth.
If time could be reversed, are these the only beautiful moments filled with holiday joy? Childhood was also filled with endless interest classes, and in middle and high school, there were countless tutoring classes. TV shows never had a clear beginning or end, and after one episode of an animated series, the rest had to be filled in by my friends' improvisation. I didn't know why the girl I liked always lowered her head in silence, and I didn't know if I could finish my summer homework before school started. I wished to grow up, to have the freedom to play games, to have freedom in my daily routine, to have freedom to watch TV, and to have freedom to eat ice cream. Looking at ourselves from different timelines, we see each other's few moments of happiness and the regrets reflected in those moments. I want to tell myself to cherish everything I have now and not forget the past that has become history. But some regrets are unforgettable, so what can we do?
In the music album "Summer Encore," Jin Chengzhi said, "Actually, it doesn't matter what happens, as long as you can imagine the taste of orange soda when you close your eyes, and remember the taste of hesitant lips sweating, the meaning of summer deepens." I deeply agree with this.
There is no need to forget those regrets, just like there is no need to forget the happy moments that cannot be returned to. Although every time I think of them, it adds some dissatisfaction to the present moment. I once heard an educational story. In the millennium, a group of middle-class people came to Dali and created a utopian environment for their children. Although the children had an incredibly happy childhood, they couldn't escape the real world and still had to adapt to our society. In this story, I see the transition from carefree childhood to facing a complex world, which seems to be a portrayal of everyone's journey from childhood to adulthood. I really like a sentence in this story, "Create a happiness bank for children, deposit a lot of happiness inside, and when they grow up and look back, they will gain a lot of happiness." At this moment, I look back at my childhood and the things I have lost and miss, and they have gradually changed. Of course, I know that not everyone reminisces about their childhood. Some people spend the entire summer vacation working in their parents' shops, while others endure pressures that are not appropriate for their age in complex family environments. Although these troubles and frustrations may be the backdrop of childhood, it doesn't mean that childhood is not beautiful and happy. It also doesn't mean that the "happiness bank" is empty. In fact, every memory of past summers is a reserve, or rather, the "interest" generated by a few moments of happiness.
I miss not only those carefree days, but also the version of myself that was easily satisfied and easily happy. When my father went on business trips, I would always pester him to bring back toys like Transformers and Ultraman, and then silently remember the day my father would come home, and be happy for a while. Actually, that version of myself, full of curiosity and always happy, has never disappeared. On the contrary, it is because we will never forget that it will always exist in our hearts.
Remember the beauty of childhood summers, remember the regrets that make memories more flavorful, and then consider how to live the present life well. Although we know that it's impossible to hold onto everything, there will always be things that are too late and things that we can't remember, happening at every stage of life. But there is always a way to make each summer worth remembering. My most common method is to set a few goals for myself, like "enjoy eating crayfish," "drink a bowl of mung bean soup," "go to a food stall with friends to eat skewers," "go to the beach to collect seashells," and so on. Every time I complete one, it feels like achieving something in a game, and I savor life with satisfaction. But I still know that I will never grasp all the beauty. The tighter I hold on, the more slips through my fingers. So, I am willing to review the gentle moments I have felt over and over again in my heart, and live each ordinary but extraordinary day with peace of mind.
Let the wind blow slowly, let the clouds commemorate for me, the fleeting youth and the summer that will always be regretful. Suddenly, I think of the passing years, and I will remember that I once dared to love a dream at all costs and abandoned the world. 🌬️